Who Am I?
It’s finally Spring, and the sign of Aries is now ruling our seasonal landscape. Like the season of Spring, the sign of Aries is all about new beginnings, growth, renewal, and rebirth. But with Aries we also must ask, who or what is being born? What or who are we bringing forth into the world? The energy of Aries proclaims “I AM”, but who is this I? In this sense, the time of Aries is very much about Identity. If you feel a bit like you are having an identity crisis this month, you are being asked to find that deeper knowing of who you are, perhaps to re-invent yourself, if the identity you once resonated with no longer fits. On some level we are all being asked right now to take a look at the age old question, “Who am I, or in a larger human sense, who are we?”
When a new green shoot is coming up out of the ground, its final form has not yet been realized. Even though the shoot has within it all that it will eventually become, and all the information encoded within that is needed to realize that mature form, the conditions must also be right to support that growth and development. As human “shoots” we have a unique difficulty, in our own process of growth, finding that mature form we call our Identity, that deeper answer to the question who am I? While a blade of grass does not need to look around itself and ask, “am I a flower or a tree or a bush,” we as humans do find ourselves in this dilemma. Too often we can take on an identity that is not our own, but is forced on us by our culture, our parents, even our ancestors. We may try on different identities like outfits, wondering if this is our style. We may look around and say to ourselves, I am not like that person, or those people, or I don’t relate to those ideas or way of life. But if who we are is not reflected in those around us it can be very difficult finding that identity that feels true for us in a deeper sense.
I began asking this question of my true identity very consciously when I was 14 years old, as at that time I was going through my first major identity crisis, and did not relate to most of the adults around me, or even the kids my own age. This question soon propelled me on a life-long spiritual journey, as I realized early on that the answer to that question was not in any role I might take on or any group or professional identity that was outside myself. We have all heard the axiom “we are spiritual beings having a physical experience,” and this realization that we are not our body, not our mind or emotions even, but ultimately an individual spark of the divine, is key to our liberation and ascension. I feel blessed that my spiritual path led me to the direct experience of identity as Higher Self, my divine I AM presence. And while I am profoundly grateful to be able to say that the knowing of my true identity on a spiritual level remains clear and unshakable, I still find myself asking this question of identity as old human roles and identifications fall away and I am being asked on a personal and human level to reinvent myself yet again.
For as I like to say, we are also Multidimensional beings having a Multidimensional experience. From a more soul oriented and psychological perspective we find that the answer to “Who am I” is not necessarily a simple one. Deeper inquiries into our soul selves and our psyches reveal we have many “I’s”, many personalities, archetypes or identities within us. Whether these other ‘identities’ come from past lifetimes, other realities or from our greater cosmic and galactic heritage, they are an important part of who we are. Fairy tales and fantasy novels are filled with characters that represent the many facets of our inner worlds, from the hero/heroine to the dark wizard, to the magical child, to the fool. Not to mention the fairies, elves and star beings from the far reaches of the universe. In my work with clients I often find our work involves integrating a repressed starseed identity, or even a more earthbound fairy or elven aspect of our multidimensional self. I have come to see we are all ‘host’ to many of these inner facets of being, and it is vitally important to bring all of these parts of ourselves into the conversation. Often illness or a crisis of one kind or another in our lives is the result of one or more of these inner identities or aspects of our psyche not being heard or integrated, telling us that some need or some important aspect of our being is being denied or ignored.
All of these aspects of our being have an essential part to play, and each have an important piece of the puzzle of our multidimensional “Identity.” We can say that each has an essence, that when combined with all the others, makes up our unique person. In a way it’s like making a perfume. Each perfume is a unique blend of individual essences that combine to make something new and special. To me, this is the ‘essence’ of the alchemical process - uncovering and refining all the different aspects of who we are, finding the gift within each part, and then creating a greater fusion that is so much more than the sum of its parts, our own unique contribution to the larger whole. While this process is not easy and can be messy and painful as we uncover parts of ourselves we would rather not deal with, I feel strongly that this is where our true power and unique gifts lie, waiting to be uncovered, acknowledged and to brought forth to shine. And if we can integrate all the aspects of our own being into a greater unified whole, this will show us how we can begin to create a world where all peoples are able to work and co-create together in peace and unity.