Alchemizing Your Relationships
Every time I contemplated writing this months post, it seems something came up to distract me. So here we are, having passed the window of Libra influence and now into Scorpio territory. Very ironic, since my sun sign is Libra, but my moon is in Scorpio. Hmm...am I avoiding something? So in true Libra fashion, I decided to do a combined Libra/Scorpio post;-)
Libra, with the planetary influence of Venus, is all about balance, harmony, partnership and, shall we say, the nicer, if more surface aspects of relationship. Scorpio, on the other hand, with the influence of Mars and Pluto, is altogether a darker and deeper energy, naturally gravitating to the deep roots of the psyche, and the pain and trauma that is often hiding there. While Libra teaches us about fairness and balance in all things, Scorpio's teachings are all about radical transformation, the dying of old structures so that something totally new can emerge. It strikes me that Resonance Alchemy is a blend of both Libra and Scorpio energies - no surprise there I guess, since both are so strong in my personality. Both these energies, it turns out, are also the key to understanding and working with our relationships. But let me explain.... The Laws of Resonance The laws of resonance are truly the essence of relationship. Like always resonates with like. What we usually call the law of attraction should really be called the law of resonance, as whatever our frequency is does attract like frequencies from the outside world, through mutual resonance. When we feel a fit with someone it means that there is a match in frequency and vibration between our two fields. The more we can be mindful of and work with raising and refining our own frequencies, the more we will attract positive, supportive and harmonious people and events into our lives. When we hold and embody the frequency of unconditional love, for example, we will naturally attract that energy in turn, as well as bring that energy out in others. Our vibrational frequency acts as a tuning fork of sorts, causing a like response or resonance in fields we interact with. When relationships work, there is always a mutual resonance. Often this resonance is based on shared values and beliefs, likes and dislikes, goals - those things that are most important to us and most express the heart of who we are as individuals. This is Libra's territory, and is the basis of healthy partnerships. But all too often we also resonate with someone because we share vulnerabilities and woundings as well. This type of resonance has a deep attraction, as we feel the person understands our darker aspects, our pain and suffering. Yet this type of resonance can also make a relationship very difficult. If you seem to be attracting relationships that are rocky, unsatisfying and conflict ridden, it is most likely those deeper shared woundings and trauma under the surface that are resonating. While there can be mutual understanding, there is also a lot of mutual need, or co-dependence, in these types of relationships, that neither we nor our partner can ever really fulfill. Co-dependency or Co-creation? All relationships have some of this dynamic that must be navigated, as we are all human and all have deeper unresolved wounds and traumas. It is when these wounds, traumas and needs are projected on to our partners, when we see our partner as either the cause or the cure of our deeper psychological burdens, that we have unresolvable conflict in the relationship. The first step in navigating this difficult territory in relationships is to own our projections, to realize that it is not our partners job to fulfill our deeper emotional needs or to be the cure for our past emotional wounding. Nor are they, in many cases, the cause of whatever emotional pain we may be projecting on to them. Taking responsibility for our reactions and sensitive spots rather than blaming our partner, or anyone we have a relationship with, goes a long way towards resolving relationship issues. Once we recognize our projections and own these aspects of ourselves, the next step is to do the work to understand and transform these energetic patterns. There are certainly times, however, when we are not just projecting internal negative patterns, but are in relationships that are hurtful and ultimately harmful. In these cases we need to make the distinction between true resonance and unhealthy co-dependency or abuse, and do what we can to move out of any relationships which are no longer serving our higher good. We have all at some time, whether as adults or as children, experienced a relationship that hurt us deeply or in some way caused emotional or even physical pain and trauma. This can also include relationships with an employer, or even a teacher or teaching which may have at one time been beneficial but is no longer serving our highest good. In these cases, as well as letting go the relationship, we may need to clear the pain of betrayal, and heal the aspects of our being that have been affected by any abuse and trauma we experienced. Alchemizing Relationship Whether we are doing the work of recognizing and clearing the internal sources of our projections or directly healing the effects of loss, betrayal and trauma, this is where inner alchemy comes in, and this is the realm in which Scorpio energies are most at home and can serve us well. Scorpio holds the energy of the spiritual warrior, that aspect of our being with the courage and fortitude to go into the depths of the psyche and do whatever cleanup and transformation is being called for. Everything we experience in our emotional and mental realms also has its energetic and vibrational aspect, and energy and vibration can always be transformed. In R.A. we work with finding the places in the energy field that are holding any old and limiting emotional patterns. This may be within specific chakras, meridians, within the energy field related to our inner child, or within the heart field. We then transmute the blocked, confused or lower frequency energies into a higher vibrational state by focusing on the sacred syllables. With R.A. we can identify these areas in the psyche that would otherwise be difficult to access, transmute the blockages, and bring in a higher frequency that 're-minds' our field of its higher potential. The R.A. syllables always bring in a higher unified state which alchemizes any lower vibrational energy into a coherent, unified field. Our Greatest Superpowers I believe our two greatest superpowers, and the two most powerful tools we have for transforming our relationships, are Unconditional Love and Forgiveness. These two qualities can also be among our greatest challenges to truly put into practice in our everyday lives. The Hawaiians have a beautiful tradition of Hoʻoponopono, which is all about taking responsibility and radical forgiveness. It's essence has been summarized in the phrase "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." Resonance Alchemy has its own version of this powerful practice, which contains and gives us the tools to work with the vibrational essence of unconditional love and forgiveness. The heart of the practice is the two following sets of syllables. They can be repeated silently in meditation or with the intention of directing the energies towards a particular person or situation.